


Blindsided

by mishiko



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Because that is canon to me, Eggsy is pissed, First Kiss, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Harry Hart Lives, Harry finally getting his shit together, How Harry copes with jealousy, Jealousy, M/M, Not a good way, Please excuse my brain, Swearing, a bit of angst, fluff at the end, pure indulgence to me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 15:51:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4355042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mishiko/pseuds/mishiko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something hot and ugly uncurls in Harry's chest. He has been nothing but patient, giving Eggsy time since he has come back (because even he has realised that it has been a mistake keeping him being alive a secret). </p><p>And yet, Eggsy has been spending time outside work with Merlin. He tries not to feel betrayed by either or both of them. </p><p>Or the one where Harry is a bit shit at this whole situation involving Eggsy, jealousy is really unbecoming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blindsided

**Author's Note:**

> I literaly just came up with the title just now. Not sure if it can be linked to the story but I didn't want anything cliched about jealousy... And I have a confession to make in the notes at the end of the story...
> 
> It is self-beta-ed and I'm not British so any mistakes are all mine. Hope you still enjoy it though!

It has only been a little over two months since Harry has stepped in as Arthur, just under eight since the fucked up V-Day. Yet in the fifty years he has been alive, this must have been the longest 12 months he has ever been through.

Being shot in the head was shitty as fuck, even if it really was just a graze, and the road to recovery was painfully long. Harry has never been fond of physiotherapy but there was no escape this time. Learning to use his limbs again, in the way that they had never failed him like that before, made him bitter and angry and feeling old.

He wanted no company and allowed Merlin to tell absolutely no one that he had survived until he was ready to be a Kingsman agent once more. 

That was probably his first failing in all of this.

He knew that there would only be one person he would have to win the trust (and if he was being completely honest with himself, affection as well) back.

He still regrets being so proud that he did not want anyone, most of all the boy, to see him in such a state during recovery, because now all he gets are blank stares and politeness.

It wasn’t like he was not expecting a warm welcome from Eggsy. Harry knows what the boy is like, how loyal and fierce he has always been. Yet, Harry was not expecting the frost to last this long either.

No, frost is a wrong word to use. What they boy has been doing to him is _shying_ away from him.

The interactions between him and Eggsy have been reduced down to the absolute necessity. Their newest Galahad has never raised his voice or eyebrows at him and his accent all smooth and posh like he has never spent any time in London’s East-End. He attends the brief and debrief sessions with the kind of punctuality his predecessor has never possessed and his manners, impeccable.

Harry keeps telling himself to give the boy time. Eggsy has been hurt and he is still licking his wound. When he is ready, he will come to him.

And Harry can see the progress, however slow it is. He can see a hint of a smile now, a genuine one, when Harry praises him or let slipped an unexpected joke. The green eyes no longer looked at him with blank expressions, there are flickers of emotions now, no matter how faint or quick they are.

Harry likes to think himself as a patient man. He wouldn’t have been able to survive this far as one of the best Kingsman agents if he didn’t have a reservoir of patience in him.

Yet every person has a breaking point.

His arrives unexpectedly eight months after the latest would-be apocalypse and two months since he has been kinged.

 

\----- 

 

It hasn’t been a complicated mission on home soil, and Harry has offered to accompany Merlin to the extraction point when he knew that there was no reason Merlin could use to stop him.

The chase has led their Galahad back to the city of Reading where he has eliminated the mark. The cleanup crew has already been sent to cover up their dust and disposed of the body as the sky opens up. By the time their Kingsman issued cab rolls around, Eggsy is drenched from head to toes.

The wind is chilly in the middle of autumn and it seems like the heater in the car will not be good enough to keep their soaked agent warm. Merlin’s house has been the closest to get to and Eggsy was relieved to get into a hot shower and change into something dry.

Harry is just thinking about a toast he would like to make when Eggsy joins them again with their single malt whiskey, when Merlin’s monologue cuts through his mind.

(The Scot has a bad habit of mumbling to himself when he is distracted.)

“Damn the boiler, it only fills half a tank again. Can you make yourself useful, Harry, and dig up your engineering hat to help me fix the damn thing? The boy’s been suffering from cold showers for two months now.”

It takes him a second for the meaning of the sentences to sink in. And all he can focus on is the fact that Eggsy has been spending time here in Merlin’s personal home ever since Harry has returned. A place where Harry himself has only first invited after having known the Scotsman for over five years, and even then he didn’t actually get to set foot in the house itself, the drinks were in the garden.

And here is a boy, because surely their newest Galahad is still too young and naive to be called a man, whom Merlin only knows for less than a year and he has been taking, from what Harry can infer, showers in his own personal home for two months already.

It is. Preposterous. 

Harry doesn’t exactly care if he says that outloud or whether Merlin can read it from his face because the Scot sighs and actually has the nerve to look a bit guilty.

“He still lives with his mother and little sister Harry. He can’t exactly go back home when he comes back from missions beaten up and bruised can he.” The explanation is dry yet the voice is resigned. Like Merlin knows that the milk has already been spilled and there is nothing he can do now.

“And it is in your nature to take him in, how very kind of you.” There is no need for sarcasm or irony to drip from his voice because they both know that the statement isn’t in anyway sincere.

Before either of them can utter another word, the subject of their conversation returns in only a pair of sweatpants and is toweling his hair so they cannot see his face clearly. A part of Harry curses how observant he is, a skill every spy should have, as he notices that the sweatpants fits too well not to belong to the wearer. He isn’t aware of any extra pair of pajama bottoms their agent carries around so he can only surmise, again, that the article of clothing was already here in the house before they have arrived. 

“Merlin, mate, you’ve go’ t’get tha’ boiler fixed bruv.” Harry is vaguely aware that this is the first time he has heard Eggsy’s natural accent since getting shot in the head in fucking Kentucky. It does nothing to calm him down. “Thank god I was nearly finished anyway, I swear your shower got colder than the rain outside.”

When Eggsy hears no reply, the drying stops and the towel is let hanging around his neck as he looks up at them. “S’everything al’righ’?”

Harry registers that Eggsy’s eyes have only briefly met his before he focuses on Merlin.

And that is, the least expected, last straw.

Harry turns on his heels and marches towards the front door. He doesn’t let himself feel the hurt or pain that is inevitably there (because it has always been there since the day he opened his eyes in the hospital in Kentucky and there was no blond haired boy sitting beside his bed).

The motions are automatic. His legs move in long strides, his right arm reaches out to turn the door knob and he is out in the cold night. He doesn’t register that rain has stopped, not that it would have prevented him from leaving.

He is a little surprised, however, that he hears himself being called, with what name he doesn’t know, but his body stops and turns before he can abort it, angling halfway towards the house and close enough that the lights from the inside casts over him.

He looks up, because there are 4 steps up to the front door, and there he is, standing there still with only sweat pants and towel to protect his skin against the cold night wind yet still manages to look breathtaking.

Something hot and ugly unfurls in Harry’s chest. (If it was anyone else feeling this, he would have said it was jealousy, but because it was himself, he was blind to it.)

He looks at the person in front of the opened door, smart and resourceful and beautiful and _not his_.

He sees a missed chance, the one that got away, mistakes too late to correct or apologised for. 

And he is bereft and heart stricken and resentful, mostly at himself because who else can he blame, all at once.

“Get back inside Galahad.” Instead, he snarls. If he was any younger, he would have been surprised at how sharp his voice is. Sharp and cold like he wants it to cut and hurt. He does not have to see, as he turns back, to know that the boy must have been taken aback by it all.

But he does not care. Harry cannot let himself care for it at that moment, for if he does, the dam will break and all will be even more lost.

So he gets into the driver seat and drives the cab off. Merlin can fucking order another one in the morning.

 

\-----

 

Harry steps on the accelerator and moves through an empty motorway then roads at such a high speed that it is a small surprise that he has arrived at the manor safely. Then, he stalks to his office and looks through all of the ongoing missions to find the most dangerous one he can allow himself to go on.

He spots one where Percival has already been dispatched but it has been noted that they are considering sending another agent in to help out. He goes on to download the mission brief into his tablet, gathers all of the weapons and gadgets he can find while alerting the night crew to prepare a plane for him.

His glasses are surprisingly silent and Harry suspects that it is Merlin’s way of apologising which makes him even more upset.

And he is upset. He is upset at this whole fucking situation, especially because it is his own fault really that they have got here like this. 

So Harry gets on the plane and switches his glasses off after sending a message to Percival to await for his arrival.

The mission goes abominably as expected, Harry isn’t sure if he should be grateful or dismayed over that. It also lasted over a week where the last two days involve cutting off all communication with HQ.

However, he is gratified that he was able to blow off steam by beating the shit out of the human traffickers and only comes out of it with bruises and a sling over a casted right arm.

He was just about to check himself out of Medical, dressed in a special suit tailored for agents with their arms in a cast and his glasses tucked inside a pocket, when the boy storms in. Eggsy is dressed in a suit as well but with no glasses. A part of Harry is in awed at how much like a thunderstorm the boy resembles, clouds of unimaginable amount of energy all ready to burst out, barely contained. The air around the room seems to become electric in seconds.

The look on his youthful face is almost murderous. If Harry was any worse an agent, he would have shown that he is shock, and a little worried, by it.

“How dare you?” The fury in Eggsy's voice is undeniable and Harry needs a few second to compose himself.

“I beg your pardon?” He can feel the flame from his own anger starting up again, simmering in his blood along with something he absolutely refuses to acknowledge, as he looks at his fuming successor.

“You fucking bastard.” It is ground out through clenched teeth as the speaker stalks up to him. “Who gives you the rights to throw yourself at danger when you just want to throw a tantrum? Are you fucking out of your mind?! You’re fucking Arthur for fuck’s sake!”

“Galahad,” Harry has yet to feel any regret over his actions and he makes sure to show it as well as his authority over the newcomer, “even though I usually appreciate different points of views, I must insist-”

“Screw your manners and etiquette! Have you ever fucking thought of the people you left behind?! You fucking shut us out and gone blindly into a human trafficking ring without a fucking backup!”

Harry can feel a pair of hands pushing at his chest, the shove isn’t hard but he still sways back and his temper flares.

“You insolent-”

“I’m not done here you wanker! Do you have any idea? Any fucking _idea_ at all?!” Harry can only use one hand to grip the other’s wrist as more shoves come but the agent in him has noticed that Eggsy has been avoiding area of his injuries. Because of that, Harry’s own anger halts and he can finally see something else other than the rage from the other.

“If something happened!” The anger in him dies down completely when he sees the anguish underneath the enraged facade. “If something. If you got shot again.” There, the voice wavers and he can see the green eyes unfocus like Eggsy is lost in memories.

Harry fears he knows exactly which one that is.

“Eggsy,” there is no longer any heat in his word and he sees how it brings his boy back. Eggsy tries to jerk away since his wrist is still in Harry’s grasp but Harry just tightens his hold.

“No. You don’t get to that to me again.” Eggsy tries to pull away and Harry has half a mind to let him go because it seems like all he has ever done to Eggsy is to cause him pain.

(Self-pity is truly an undesirable trait.)

Yet if there is one thing he owes the younger man, it’s this.

“I am so sorry Eggsy, truly and deeply.” He says in his gravest voice and it comes out gentle too. Eggsy stops trying to pull his wrist away and Harry can hear his breath hitches but he still refuses to look at Harry.

“Eggsy, darling, I have been causing you pain.” Another hitched breath and Harry dares to let the wrist go so that he can cup his hand to Eggsy’s cheek. He finds it wet and he can feel his heart clenches in regrets. He lifts the face up so he can look into those green eyes before continuing, “Ever since that day with the dog test, I have been nothing but an unreasonable, bitter and proud old man and I have been hurting you since. I am truly, sorry."

He brushes his thumb to wipe the tears away from the soft cheek and may be he’s lying himself when he feels Eggsy leaning into the touch.

Those green eyes are shining and imploring and he can no longer keep his deepest and darkest feelings down.

“I thought that I was doing the right thing, giving you space and time after I’ve become Arthur. But I have been a fool. I have been a fool since the day I woke up in Kentucky and refused to call you.” Eggsy hasn’t punched him and bolted out of the room yet and he is counting that as a small win. Harry dares to bend down and press a kiss on his forehead.

“I have never wanted anything as much as this and it scares me. I think I have been trying to be a man that deserves you, by giving you time to heal first before I pursue it. I got jealous, you know, over how Merlin, one of my oldest friends, got to spend time with you. That you went to him instead of, well, me." He does feel a little embarrassed over that and how he has behaved more like a spoiled teenager rather than a respectable gentleman he should have been.

Eggsy remains quiet, even when Harry pauses to let him speak. His boy has his mouth slightly agape and his eyes wide like he can't believe what he is hearing.

"I am truly and utterly sorry for my behaviours and recklessness. They were uncalled for and they have hurt you. That is perhaps my biggest regret, Eggsy, that I have caused you pain time and time again. From the day my mistake has caused you your father till now. I really don't know how I can make it up to you." The last sentence is said quietly and it feels like he is confessing his worst sins to a divine being.

It seems to jolt Eggsy and the younger man straightens his back, but doesn't let Harry’s hand drop away as Eggsy's own hand lifts up and presses it to his cheek. This time, Harry is sure that Eggsy is leaning into his touch.

"Then you can start by stopping this shit nonsense and get back on the bed. You are not leaving the Medical until a proper doctor has cleared you." Eggsy sounds so serious, which tells Harry how worried he has been about him. And how can he deny his boy this?

Harry walks backwards to the bed and Eggsy lets his hand falls away but holds on to it even as Harry sits down the bed.

"There will be no more throwing yourself at high level risk missions, you are our Arthur now. What would us knights be without our king?” It is obviously a rhetorical question but Harry can’t help but smile to that. His heart leaps when he gets a small but genuine smile in return.

"And then. And then you are going to get better and you are going to take me out for dinner after you have your arm out of that cast. You will wine-and-dine me then." There is uncertainty in Eggsy’s voice but there is bravery too, in the same way that Eggsy is probably the most courageous of them all.

It makes Harry so proud of the younger man.

So Harry just raises his eyebrows and says, “Will I now?” Again, another rhetorical question because his low voice is full of the affection he has been feeling for Eggsy but has never dared to let it show before.

“Yes.” The familiar smirk is back on the young face and Harry wants to know what it tastes like under his lips.

“Well, you have forgotten one thing my dear.” Harry is much better at hiding his self-satisfaction that Eggsy doesn’t know what he means until he is pulled onto the bed, straddling Harry (and even here, Harry can see how careful Eggsy is of his injuries) so Harry can cups his cheek once more.

“Yeah? What’s it?” Eggsy is breathless already, his arms fluttering on Harry’s shoulders, and Harry is just letting his emotions show in his eyes and with soft brushes along the soft skin.

“The part where I beg for your forgiveness with kisses.” Harry murmurs out, his lips mere millimeters from the pink ones that are parted slightly, perhaps unconsciously.

Yet, Harry still waits. He wants Eggsy to be absolutely certain that he wants this too.

“Promises, promises.” That is enough permission for Harry and he smiles before closing the gap.

The kiss starts hard and bruising. Harry lets Eggsy take control first, to set the pace however fast and wet he wants with bites on the painful side but still so damn good, especially when Eggsy swipes his tongue over it after. However, as soon as Eggsy lets himself slow down as the frustration falls away, Harry takes over. He slows down and the movements become gentler, more reverent and he absolutely worships Eggsy’s mouth.

He can feel the moan from Eggsy which he swallows it up and he asks for more with his tongue. The moment Eggsy melts into his hold and kiss, Harry lets his dam break and show Eggsy, as well as he can with kisses only, just how much he loves him. 

Because Harry knows it now, the same way he knows that the sun rises in the East, that he wholly, completely, utterly, loves Eggsy.

When it has become apparent that air is gravely needed on both side, he lets the swollen red lips goes. However, he keeps chasing the sweetness from the soft skin as he traces kisses along Eggsy’s jaw and neck.

“Ha- Harry,” Eggsy gasps out, his darling boy cranes his neck to the side to offer him more skin and Harry can feel a groan leaves his throat.

He wants to hear Eggsy saying his name like that for the rest of his life.

He press one last kiss at Eggsy’s pulse point before moving away to look at his face. Eggsy has his eyes closed and his mouth is still parted, still be catching his breath. Harry lets his fingers trace invisible pattern along his nose, across his eyelids, down his flushed cheek and the path end with the hand cradling the back of his skull.

“Eggsy?” The call was no louder than a whisper and the bright green eyes are open once more. Harry waits until he is absolutely sure that he has all of Eggsy’s focus.

“I love you Eggsy.” His voice is soft and he doesn’t bother with any fancy words now. “My heart, it is yours to do whatever you like with it.”

Eggsy seems to have stopped breathing a few seconds as he blinks at him, almost like he is breaking down the sentences to understand the meaning, before he releases a long breath.

“And mine’s yours Harry.” Eggsy’s voice is equally soft and Harry can hear the vulnerability in it. “You can have it for as long as you want.”

The joy that surges through him from those words is inexpressible.

He can’t help but answers back, “If it was up to me, it will be mine for a long, long time.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep Harry.” Eggsy casts his eyes down briefly and Harry understands that it may take a while for Eggsy to really believe in it. The younger man has been through so much from such a young age that being skeptical has become a survival tactic.

“A gentleman always keeps his words darling, but we can start with dinner. I believe I am to wine-and-dine you once I am better?” Harry doesn’t mind having to convince Eggsy. He will work for it and earn Eggsy’s trust again.

“I’d like that.” A small, shy smile makes it way to the kiss-swollen lips which makes his heart beats faster.

Harry is planning to stay for as long as Eggsy will have him.

   

   

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, well I hope it wasn't too confusing...? 
> 
> My confession is that this piece came about from a dream. I actually dreamt the scene where Harry was standing in front of a house, looking a half dressed Eggsy and I have this sentence "Something hot and ugly unfurls in his chest" stuck on loop. And then in my half-concious state (I must have dreamed that I was writing a fanfic?), I tried to finish the story. But I kept on repeating that sentence to myself that I really had to just sit down and write this out. The dream happened... oh, two nights ago so this has taken me only two days. Possibly one that took the least time to finish. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked/enjoyed it! I'm a little bit glad that no smut snuck up on me (one of Harry's arm is in a cast) but I am toying with an idea of a second part of this after Harry has wined-and-dined Eggsy *grins* Can't say that it will definitely happen, let's just see if my brain coorperates. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading to this, kudos and comments are much appreciated!


End file.
